Is Your Inner Critic Actually Trying to Protect You?

That voice in your head that says "you're not ready" or "who do you think you are?"

Most of us treat it like an enemy. Something to overcome. Silence. Push through.

But what if that's not what it needs?

I’ve had many conversations with clients who are preparing for a big presentation, board meeting or key note speech and the inner critic can be loud – literally keeping them awake at night. With a message saying: they’ll mess it up. That they're not experienced. That people will see through them.

What I’ve learned is that instead of joining the client to try and push that voice down, I ask: "If that voice was an ally, what would it be trying to protect you from?"

And the answer will usually be something like,"Humiliation. Looking stupid. Being exposed as a fraud."

Here's the thing: your inner critic isn't trying to destroy you. It's trying to keep you safe. It wants to keep the status quo and assumes that putting yourself out there is dangerous. That being visible means being vulnerable. And its job—its only job—is to protect you from that danger.

It's doing exactly what it was trained to do.

The problem is, it's working with outdated information. It's still operating from a time when being different or standing out actually was dangerous. When fitting in was survival.

But that’s not your reality. The world you're operating in rewards the very things your inner critic is trying to protect you from.

So instead of fighting it, how would it be to acknowledge it?

"I hear you. I know you're trying to keep me safe. Thank you. But it’s important I see this through."

When you stop treating your inner critic as the enemy and start treating it as a well-meaning but overprotective part of you, something can shift. You're not at war with yourself anymore.

The inner critic doesn't go away. But it can get quieter when it trusts that you're aware, intentional, and capable of handling what comes next.

So next time that voice pipes up, ask: "What are you protecting me from?"

You might find that simply asking the question changes everything.

Is Your Inner Critic Actually Trying to Protect You?